Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
