she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize