I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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