how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
