I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
