I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
