What did we do last night that was yellow?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
