I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
