Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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