I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
only if we run a train.
done.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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