listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
