omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
