It was confusing and full of hummus
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
