I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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