omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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