Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
