ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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