Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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