It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
