A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
