did you get engaged???
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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