oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
