I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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