Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
