just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need water and some morals
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
