You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
