Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
