you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
