I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Come share oat with me in your robe
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
