You really coming over, don't trick.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
