non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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