i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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