Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
