It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
