You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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