Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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