yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
