You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
