Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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