you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
