were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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