And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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