dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the liver wants what the liver wants
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
