you win again, gameday.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
