You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize