exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize