He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
