I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize