Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize