Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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