Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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