I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
