I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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