Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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