I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
