This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
