I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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