Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
