i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize