my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
