Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
